Eight jokes about accountants

Earlier this year, I asked my Twitter followers to share their best jokes about accountants. So here goes…

1. What’s the definition of an actuary? A person who found accountancy too exciting! @DerekBoughton 

My verdict: Well worn, but still prompts a giggle when you haven’t heard it for a while.

2. Accountants don’t die – they just lose their balance. @jwgn

My verdict: This one is dry and I rather like it.

3. How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? Well, the management accountant is needed to work out the cost/profit ratio. The financial accountant needs to agree the purchase order. The procurement accountant surveys the market for the cheapest offer. The treasury accountant takes money off deposit to procure the bulb. The bought ledger accountant remits payment to the supplier. And the internal auditor checks that there has been no fraud or bribery. But none of the above changes the light bulb because they have not been trained to. The chief operating officer does it instead. ‏‪@VatDaddy

My verdict: It’s a long joke but it’s definitely worth it when you get to the end.

4. How do you spot an extrovert accountant? She’s staring at your shoes, not hers. @jwgn

My verdict: Yes, it’s a cliché but is there some truth in it somewhere?

5. “It was like riding a tiger, not knowing how to get off without being eaten.” Quote from Ramalinga Raju, former chairman of Indian IT company Satyam, where an accounting scandal erupted in 2009. @MichaelJRWhite

My verdict: OK, so it’s not a joke exactly but it’s amusing nevertheless.

6. Why did the auditor cross the road? Because he did it last year. @WayneT_Derby

My verdict: Simple, but effective.

7. The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes. @jwgn

 My verdict: That’s one way of putting it.

8. I say, I say, I say: what’s a Big Four partner’s favourite wine?

In a whiny voice: “We don’t all get average profit per partner, you know.” @TruenFairview 

My verdict: Oh, don’t we know it!

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